Written with love..
I have to be honest with you, where I am now, who I am with is all because I believed in love; I believed in myself. It was not easy knocking on the doors of commitment, nor is this journey but I fell in love with my best friend. I love him. We love each other and our relationship is growing every day. This blog post is filled with love. If you want to read it while wearing the lens of 'intentional love' then you will be bamboozled by the time that so easily passes you by. A scenario where love is often seen as a burden than a beautiful adornment of accomplishments.
If you wish to read it while sharing an optical lens of perspective and compromise, you'll find yourself and your partner growing exponentially, as you two find happiness in yourselves and one another. If you need a comparison; a possible comparison to the thoughts that provoke my mind, than put all your raw fruits into a basket and expect them to ripen with an unforgettable sweetness. I'm telling you now, love is not easy and no one will tell you when you'll fall in love or when you'll make the right entrance to meet the right person. It will simply happen.
And so it did..
Our expressions shared with my sisters after we had completed the religious ceremony. Yes, Ayaz also wears a veil. The veil signifies a holy union in a sacred space.
It took us seconds to agree to dating overseas as young adults with no financial backing except our part time jobs and a pocket full of hope.
How was this possible? What would my parents think of me? I had found someone, was he really there for me? Was this love? Long distance relationships, heard of them but do they work? If so, I'm not traveling anywhere so how do we meet?
It began in the start of Fall 2006, Ayaz and I reconnected during the month of Ramadan. We were both on separate ends of the world, yet, we celebrated together. I try to remember the day where I sprawled onto my bedroom floor while reading his emails on our bond and how he felt about me. I told myself this was it, after all I am a die hard hopeless romantic. I had to use Abu's HP laptop as what I read next would change my life evermore. As we grew fonder of one another, we continued pursuing our dreams, and days turned into weeks and weeks into months. He was in a bee-hive industry (fashion, media, new company launches) the network was competitive and he loved working. He was the right fit and found security quickly. My adversities were a combination of dreadful commutes, proposal requests, and what was the start of my chronic anxiety, which I thought was major stress from school, and not having the right finances to complete my assignments. I would always make Ayaz a priority as he was my best friend and someone who I could confide in when it came to inspiration, family, and a lover's quest for union (the calling cards didn't matter). I had an array of friends (gosh I miss University) who supported my class assignments. Curatorial periods were my favourites as everyone was bewildered by my projects expressing 'distance, reflection, allegiance, enigma' and I wished I had experienced more time expressing how I had felt visually. "Saira, you can change the way someone feels .." they all said it, they still do.
This is a traditional ceremony during the engagement in Islam called the Imam Zamin. We wear the names of Ali and Fatima on our upper right arms to acknowledge their blessings on this beautiful day.