Hello to my brave, courageous and empowered being of the heart-centered world.

Ramadan Kareem to all those celebrating..

Before I begin, let us recall the love for the Divine; Allah, God; the Creator and take out a moment to express just how incredible our bodies are. To be able to keep our fasts while living in a time of adversity is no mere task. It does, however, encourage us with bravery to face our deepest, darkest fears. 

As you unfold yourself to Allah these next 29 days, acknowledge not only the physical but also be brave to address the emotional addictions that you may need to reassess within your life. What emotional addictions you ask, here are some that I have chosen to release from my mind during this time of rebirth:

PERFECTIONISM, HARD WORK & WORKAHOLISM...

Your fasts are a reflection of how you restore your well-being, nourish your soul and body. 
The elements of Holistic health signify the importance of assessing not one but all parts of your existence.  As someone who is passionate about learning more about the soul's journey on earth, let us begin by bringing in a protective white light around ourselves, our homes so that each of our energy's is protected by the Divine Himself.

This reflection is a share of personal experiences, words of shared wisdom and of a Muslim BIPOC woman who is on her journey to finding reconnection with her essence.

This my friends is a space of unveiling through creativity while addressing spirituality, holistic well-being and questioning the very meaning of 'belonging'.

If you'd like to continue reading, please do leave a comment at the end of the blog to share your thoughts on your self-compassionate accounts of addressing your own emotional addictions.
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​Written by: Saira Hussain
Founder of Breath of Henna, Love Letter Community
A Self-worth and mental health advocate.
Artist, Holistic health practitioner, Energy worker
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My addiction with perfectionism turned into workaholism and a lack of self-acknowledgement..MY STORY.


Who but HE knows that what we have found in this Dunya is temporary and nothing will be taken to the grave..

I found myself questioning this often until I could no longer manage the voice of my inner critic ( the voice of societal confinements, patriarchy and colonialism). This led to me SCREAMING OUT LOUD, ENOUGH! I made time to inquire with myself, with Allah (swt). Mein kaise is soch ko badloo? (eng. how do I alternate this way of thinking) in association with running away, feelings of suppression, not having enough or will I even survive?) I allowed these questions to marinate over-time. Where? In my beautiful mind. I was unaware of how these thoughts would impact my well-being till I began to feel physical pain in areas of my head, neck, shoulders and abdomen. I was diagnosed with Bell's palsy in March 2017, which was a blessing in disguise.


RAMADAN DAY 2:

What we seek to have and to hold does not belong to us...someone said this to me once and it stuck like date honey welded into an old walnut-floor crack. This is a hard one to grasp. I never planned to express myself with owning nothing because I was always taught to 'gain, win, accomplish, do more, do better' so that I could receive, buy things that I wanted or so-called 'desired' at the time.


So how did the things I received through achievements (documents, titles attained through social work, social media, publications)  increase my sense of worthiness?

Most difficult form of self-acceptance in my existence thus far...

Psychologically they impacted my choices and feelings but spiritually and energetically, they did not help elevate me towards my path, my purpose. I needed answers.


This led me to addressing my brain health while speaking to my anatomy professor and emotional intelligence coach. How did my amygdala choose to store memories associated with - low self-esteem, heart break, conflicts with my father over the events where I was loved, play-time with my sisters, sleepovers and the achievements I mentioned above when doing humanitarian work, let alone my own wedding day?

The answer to this, OUR EMOTIONS ARE CONTROLLED BY OUR THOUGHTS & our thoughts are prompted by our endocrine system - yes hormones! This is how my earth-bound, emotional hunger developed into 'perfectionism'.. which stemmed from FEAR itself. This connection made me want to create a blueprint of my thoughts and so I did this through 'Art Therapy' (print collection seen below).


Are you stressed? Are you overwhelmed by not ever having had the time to look within?
Is the reflection piece too much? Hold onto your bravery, we're going deeper. You're here and that's what matters - that you looked within.

​So how are our thoughts stored? How do we recall events releasing emotional reactions and responses?

When our brain decides to store memory, we often have a hard time letting go of it because of the way it makes us feel; nostalgia, romance, being spoiled, a mother's warmth, a wedding, a divorce. At many times most memories that are stored by the average human are those surrounding fear, see here.

As we build relationships with events (life transitions and social interruptions like the pandemic) and people (familial, friends, work) we so connect them with how we relate to them. The hippocampus is a part of brain that helps to organize relational experiences. This how we address others and associate with the world.


Now that you have a new perspective on building neurological pathways and emotional well-being, let's continue..


When we associate ourselves with a thought about a certain event, it eventually becomes stored as a memory. My wedding day was beautiful, but it wasn't perfect so that bothered me. BOTHERED - the feelings entangled with irritation, uneasiness, stress, an overwhelming list, CONTROL.


My sisters and I have had incredible childhoods but due to financial difficulties while growing up, this impacted us to deal with our emotions independently and as a result none of us were able to reflect responsively (including my parents). We felt unheard, unseen as children and young women growing up. UNSEEN - the act of being silenced, upset, disrespected, unwanted, unloved, unheard and often times FORGOTTEN.


To those reading know that these are my chosen words. Gently acknowledging that mental health was not something that was common when I was sixteen (seventeen years ago) and that we did not have outlets to express ourselves as we do today as social media and inclusive media-based platforms do today.


Mental health is still premature in the east and western Muslim family households, but if it wasn't for GOD and the courage of our Mother, a few family members, and therapy I would never unveiled the truth of how my emotional addiction of perfectionism came to be. I am also grateful to my select friends who were not aware but made room for me, my sisters and my parents to move through this adversity that furthermore was branched out of intergenerational financial trauma (a story for another day).

Firstly, I'd like to address that no one is perfect, GOD teaches us to look at adversity; fear as a guide to shift our perspectives on things and people that we are attached to. How you ask? By finding love within our bodies for our lives through gratitude. Only then are we able to listen, conscientiously to what is the voice of motivation to living a healthy life and whose voice we've inherently allowed to take up space in our mind. The Quran is a guide to spiritual alignment but also a book of immense knowledge and wisdom to living life here on earth.

Be gentle with yourself as I am beginning to be with myself..

A moment of deep reflection...

Perfectionism invites us to remain in our sympathetic state. If you can imagine a tree rooted to the earth but shaking aggressively, through the day and night (shivering, insecure, hungry as if greed were no concept) this is how my nervous system looked; this is how I felt. My next fear was genetic disease; Parkinson's has taken 5 of my extended family members and an aunt who I dearly loved. With perfectionism came WORKAHOLISM - the act of having no boundaries and working without breaks to breathe, dismantling oneself from the act to be gentle to the body and  little time for loved ones or the self. Workaholism takes lives my sisters - she is what may cause disease and irreversible ones if one is not attentive to their body's limitations.


As an Artist, it is vital that I share with you the need to visualize as it has helped me grieve and move into my new present state of being; living. Perfectionism increases the feeling of exhaustion, anger, a sense of being 'occupied' or 'too busy' because one is drained - talk about survival of the fittest. 


Do you feel like you've allowed your emotional chaos to overtake your own personal beliefs, choices and wish to live anxiety free?


This Ramadan I told myself that I will not allow my trauma to rest in my amygdala any longer for it had crippled my sleep cycles, caused skin and body issues, hormonal imbalances and held me back from achieving my personal, family, work and relationship goals. After having faced insomnia for twenty long years, I have begun to appreciate sleep and the need to rest. Ramadan encourages us to be mindful of our bodies and also the need to cleanse and restore. Fasting is not only about not eating, it is a time to reflect without distraction and find divine balance.

1. I will unlearn what it means to survive and build the courage with Allah (SWT) to battle my inner demons with journaling daily (prompts that I have curated for myself and questions asked in the Quran). Journaling also increases our ability to reflect, restore information and is a great activity to increase circulation in the hands, arms, shoulders. Our motor skills are often unaddressed and if we cannot perform, other neurodegenerative diseases like Parkinson's and Alzheimers may take their place. So invite movement this Ramadan into your daily fasts (pre or post) and take your walks, reflect and feel nourishment surge through you.

 

1. I will not allow myself to further react to the news, media outlets and those who are not aligned with my beliefs in love, life and self-respect. Firstly, your energy is real. Our chakras hold and store energy that is ours but also we also receive and feel the energy of others. If it is not healthy to BE available for someone when you too are feeling depleted energetically, than choose to meditate, pray, ground yourself with natural environments. You can also integrate healthy methods with me HERE to take back your personal power by learning how to say 'NO' when you are working on yourself. When you invite someone else's unwanted energy, you are also increasing cortisol, which is the stress hormone and further imbalances, disharmony in relationships and unwanted noise. Over time stress may cause you to impair your memory, your body's natural ability to digest (IBS, constipation) and heal on its own. Increase your intake of supplements by first getting your blood test done (on a day where you are not fasting) and colour your Sehri and Iftaari with colourful foods to invite love and health into your body. Encourage yourself to eat anti-inflammatory foods. Having healthy boundaries and addressing your hormonal health this Ramadan is a key component often missed during spiritual restoration.

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Writer: Saira Hussain

Sisters, the way I used to think about my SKIN was the adversity that I was trying to unfold.

Before I begin writing this chapter, I had to ask myself a few deeply embedded questions that seemed easy to avoid in my youth due to the energy I had and my metabolism. If you're someone who is struggling with your well-being internally, the exterior signs will catch up soon if you remain with your generational choices. It may be easy being fed; having someone cook for you so you can feel full or even sleep whenever you want to because you're young - but sister, it will catch up to you. I just never thought it would so quickly. These are the questions I ask myself routinely. Not weekly, but at least twice a month to check in with myself and acknowledge my sense of self. If it helps play the practitioner and the patient while asking yourself the following questions and journal your reflections:


What is your relationship with your body right now?

How do you talk about your skin, hair, nails?

Are you constantly over-giving? 

Are you an over-achiever?


STOP RIGHT HERE

Let's begin by taking a time-out.
Yes, I said it. Let's close our eyes and find a place of peace...disengaging from our minds and falling into our bodies.

How do you feel when you are in your body?

BE HERE

​(CLICK LINK BELOW)

I took an oath with myself earlier last year that I will move through the intricately woven layers of my pain; agony, lack of self-esteem and conditioning to find the source of who I truly am.  With the aid of the pandemic and many months of therapy, mindfully guided meditation, love letter writing & exchanging my symptom queries for open-ended research and a new family doctor (thank goodness) I have made some remarkable and very simple discoveries about my body. I'm here today to share them with you. As a womxn's self-worth advocate I know how the volume of our Inner critic can build a void around our efforts and courage and influence our bodies for the worse. I ask you to acknowledge that you are here because you DESIRE TO CHOOSE TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE for your WELL-BEING. THAT IS ENOUGH to get you started.


Firstly, I'd like to re-introduce myself. My name is Saira Hussain and I am a Holistic Health and Henna Practitioner, a womxn's self-worth and Parkinson's awareness advocate, an Intuitive healer and aspiring art-psychotherapist. My work involves working with our energetic systems and alternative medicine to help heal the body, mind with the power of the Heart. I'm am a love of the earth and all PLANTS are my family. Give me an HERB, a FLOWER and let's embrace their powers. We have so much to be grateful for including our indigenous sisters and their families. Let's take a moment to pay our respects to the medicine womxn, our spiritual guides and ancestors for helping us connect with our home; Gaia. I am a wild flower and a free spirit. A bipoc Muslim womxn on a path to break down the walls of segregation that have caused chaos to lead. I am here to tell you that I have had enough and the sisters of our universe are supporting me on this path. Are you in?


Let's begin by taking back our bodies and understanding our skin.


I have broken down this series of Healing my Skin into three layers of the most nutritious marination I have found (presently) with research, wellness guides and belief in self-healing. My skin healing journey includes the following:


Self-Awareness

Self-Compassion

Self-Worth


Yes, a 3 S-RECIPE​ !

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It all begins by understanding the term 'balance'.

It's easier said than achieved. Firstly, the act of healing is a life long process. Many of us go on believing that we have healed ourselves - our bodies, our mental state or our families but healing is not a permanent solution. Where there is the process of healing, there is immense adversity and with a challenge comes a learned lesson or a few. GROWTH happens when pain begins to speak!

As we build self-awareness this first week, let's look at how we can achieve homeostasis and what this means for our SKIN:


Homeostasis refers to the state of internal balance by all living systems. We are complex creatures and our systems include involuntary and voluntary actions. We are also made of our seventy-trillion cells and as we age our bodies are transitioning in and out of physical, mental, emotional, and psycho-spiritual stages. This takes a lot of energy and fuel is needed to restore our systems so that we can operate at an optimal level. 

Peeling back the layers:

When the pandemic hit our world, fear was magnified by the media and we fed off of this fear. It is not your fault. We have been  programmed to live in a sympathetic state because we have been trying to over-achieve; perfect ourselves to the expectations of others and if we do not achieve what we are set out to do, we feel guilty. If it wasn't for the pandemic, I wouldn't have had the time to rest and reflect to view my life with a bird's eye view. When you are feeling stressed, you can extract yourself from the present situation by practicing the guided meditation I provided above or removing yourself from the toxic environment that you are in. It is not always a gentle process to do so and many times we find ourselves drifting away from those who we considered our family. The first element in raising self-awareness is to acknowledge that you are not responsible for healing the world; your family, your loved ones or your friends. We are all individuals set on our own journeys and the unfolding is done in becoming a self-compassionate witness during a period of deep isolation - darkness. In Jungian psychology, we call this our shadow self, which can also be identified as unconsciousness (avoidance or ignoring our truths). As the intrusive thoughts increased so did my weight, my self doubt and emotional eating habits.