A ritual guided letter of personal discoveries,
reflections and case studies in how to build self-compassion for the self.
I am writing to you as I am your compassionate witness, dear love of mine.
Today marks my thirty-third born day.
As the sun entered my home today, my emotions witnessed a clarity felt in the pores of my once, parted skin. A tightly woven confidence, where I recalled a womxn of strength, resilience and remarkable patience unfolded around my shell and I rose with immense self-compassion..
As I allow my words of my womben to flow, I am here to share with you all (the cells, tissues and organs of my body) that I am addressing you all in court with God as my witness. Declaring these next few confirmations, while taking accountability, is not only painful but may trigger some readers who are here for the journey through the words of choosing and power of vulnerability.
My dear, we are here as a conscious collective (here I speak to my body, mind, heart and soul). To the essence of my life among the stars, I am grateful to your powers of my knowns and I desire a life of immense, compassionate commitment. Furthermore, I desire to meet you before my body ferments for new creation when she no longer can provide nourishment for my soul that lives here..
My name is Saira Hussain and I am thirty-three today and am a Holistic henna & health practitioner, spiritual guide and self-worth advocate. I am a BIPOC womxn and am inviting you to a sacred space of reflection as I turn the next 365 pages of my life to an unraveling of immense grief and beauty.
1. I am alone, and there is no greater power witnessed than in isolation with the self.
7. Without pain, there is no growth desired for the appropriate diagnosis of well-being.
→ When pain succumbs patience and I am limited for resources of mental, emotional and physical well-being, my skin will speak in changes of texture, cystic acne, contact dermatitis, hair loss and this is something that only I will feel.
8. My well-being is my power.
→ My diet is interconnected with the cultures that I was nurtured by. My culture now changes with conscious community. Unwrapping the layers of toxic patriarchy, colonization and hate that formed my perception of living. My diet is what fuels my body and my mind. I am the rift in the degenerative dis-ease that will no longer break my tree's branches.
9. Gaia is me as I am Her.
→ To understand holism, one must accept that their life is interconnected with Gaia, the universe and God. After facing a pandemic, 2020 has shared immense growth and power with me. I am forever grateful to the earth as she has been my strength when my mind built a cage around my existence.
10. My chakras are my energy portals & proof that I am powerful in all aspects of my life.
→ I am graced by the power of the higher self and continue to work in this field to trace the patterns of my ego that no longer serve me. My ego is what has created fear and with the ego there is no movement ahead, but further depletion of one’s soul.
11. I am surrounded by Goddesses.
→ The very foundation of sacred sisterhood was created when consciousness revisited me in my dreams in a time of uncertainty. I am proud of my highly sensitive nature and to be able to feel the emotions of grief, love, pain, joy and loss. The love letter community is a part of my journey as it is for every sister that bears witness to its powers.
DNA PROJECT, 2019
Photographer: Tara Noelle
12. My transformation takes place when I revisit my inner child.
→ The turning took place during winter solstice and the incredible universal shift; the great conjunction. As a self-worth and mental health advocate, I visited my darkness to discover that I was living a false version of myself. When there was pain, I would mask it with laughter. Now when there is pain, I sit in my present emotions with dignity and courage.
13. I encapsulated conscious creativity when there was pain. This is my gift.
14. Follow a path of wellness and God will grant you divine gifts of knowing and you will never be alone. Your body is your greatest friend.
15. My body is my home of sacred knowings. God is here.
16. The majestic mountain of my desires can replace my deepest wounds if I do the work I need to. We are constantly doing the work.
17. God delivers a message of compassion to us with every rising Sun and Moon.
→ Witnessing the powers of my higher self through meditation has directed me (with grace) to practice breathing and believe in its offerings of knowledge, divine light, and forgiveness. As consciousness moves through my body so does loving movement of the self.
18. Sacred slumber is essential for a successful and admirable life.
→ While having taken the time out to study the many causes of Parkisons dis-ease, I have taken an oath to understand how my body reacts to adverse change. The health of my hormones are all interconnected to what I eat, how I sleep, how I manage stress and my relationships. Cortisol, dopamine and melatonin are all essential to one’s well-being - homeostasis is possible.
19. Celebrate your transitions. Your power lies deep within your fascia. Embracing my sexuality, my divine feminine and my menstrual cycle has helped relieve me of the pain that I thought directed this transformative monthly cycle. I now embrace my parts. My body is powerful.
20. My body belongs to me and no one else. I will give consent to whoever I choose. I do not belong to anyone else except the higher power and my God. Sexual health is for me to explore and to build and raise awareness. My reproductive parts belong to me. I own them. I was made to discover myself.
21. Take accountability of your actions.
→ I am a womxn; a sister, a daughter, a wife. I love who I will. I have taken time to build awareness around my empathy, to elevate my senses in recognizing the parts of these relationships that serve me. To those who I cannot heal, it is not my responsibility. I am my own witness.
22. Cherish moments of happiness, but do not depend on them to heal the depths of your wounds. For darkness was created to unveil the power witnessed in this transition. It will be painful, but if it is what you desire (to heal) then take this path.
23. To feel nostalgic is to feel relief by comfort. There is no growth here to uncover, as you are bandaging a deep wound whose fountain of blood is untraceable.
24. Surround yourself with the abundance of knowledge, but choose wisely for you must be gentle with this process if you are conditioned to react with impatience.
25. My reason does not need an announcement, nor a war of conflicted hearts. My love stems from the branches of divine precision and the golden triangle is my witness.
25. Hold space for your heart to grieve.
→ I have moved in and out of relationships that I thought were sacred. If it is meant for you, your friendship will continue. I need time, you need time, the world takes time to create; to be reborn. Allow yourself this time to build trust with yourself my love and be gentle when relationships end. Victimizing yourself will only further create chaos within your future.
26. Challenge your internal system.
→ Build a colourful diet of energy and vitality. Careful when mixing food as fuel with emotions as fuel. Chart your progress when it comes to a healthy diet and seek reasoning behind your gut responses and observe your stool and urine. There are many intricacies woven into the organs that help process the food we eat.
27. When I say no, it means no.
28. I have a mind that I control and building self-compassion for my body directly impacts the relationship I have with my mind. Leaning into my heart while resting has shaken the foundation where I thought I was most powerful.
29. Imagine the white light from the divine around you; protecting you at all times.
30. Imagine a pink and green light when in need of love for yourself or others. You are granted the time to love yourself.
'In the process of forgiving ourselves, we forgive others..'
→ Gaia is our home for bodily experience.
In reactivating the powers of our chakras we go through a cathartic release of emotions. In acceptance of my profound release, I am blessed to acknowledge that I cannot BE without the universe, Gaia or God. I am all that is before me and all that comes after me. Forgiveness is key in connectivity of these sacred veins of the self.
I desire to emancipate my self-esteem, self-compassion and self-communication into the world. It is my choosing to use creativity and the powers of sacred holistic henna therapy to reactivate my becoming and ignite the spark in others.
I desire to love myself and there are no limitations.
Breath of Henna & Love Letter Community
I acknowledge that I have taken your minutes in composing this sacred reflection of the self on my thirty-third and so I offer love and open space of sacred conversation and discussion. My love is expressive because of the love that I have built in reclaiming my self-worth. In doing so, I have curated a compassionate, 10-page love letter for you.
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